Broken Robots

After yet another day of chaos and mayhem,  I sat my kids down and smiled down at them in a patient, fatherly way.   I had had enough of our usual games, and I was going to try a new tactic - logic.

It was time for a parable.  A life lesson, if you will.  And I was ready and willing to share.

Not surprisingly, since the latter half of the day and evening my wife and I had been boiling over with scoldings, threats, and time outs aplenty for the children-who-really-needed-to-get-a-clue, they seemed eager to listen.

"If you had robots in your house that, once or twice a day, randomly did things they weren't supposed to do, like breaking toys, throwing shoes, or punching people, would that be good?"

No, father, they shook their heads solemly.  Obviously not.

"And if these robots were scheming to swipe cookies, screaming at the top of their lungs for no apparent reason, or drawing on the walls with crayons, would THAT be okay?"

Chuckles all around as they continued to shake their heads.  Oh, no Father.  Of course not.

"How about if the robots refused to clean up messes they made, and left tools and machine parts all over the floor for everyone else to step on and hurt their feet?  How about that?"

Silly Daddy.  Of course that wouldn't be ok.  Smirks now.

"AND after scolding and disciplining them, if you asked these robots WHY they were doing these things that they were programmed not to do...that they knew very well were wrong and going to get them punished...and the only answer they would offer was, "I dunno..."

"Those robots would be really broken, Daddy."  My youngest offered.

"...and wouldn't you turn them off until you could get them fixed or reprogrammed?"  I followed this up with an arched eyebrow.  My best Spock impression of implied logic.

Nods of approval all around from my kids, finally catching on.  "Oh, Daddy.  You're so clever.  Of course you must be talking about the OTHER kids in the house", each seemed to be thinking.  "I'm not the broken one, of course."

And right at this climactic moment of almost-clarity, my son says, "Um, tomorrow, can we build a fort in the living room?"

The spell was broken, and all of them were now nodding their heads in excited anticipation of the following day's events, my lesson forgotten just like that.

Broken Robots.  All of them...and I'm looking for some reboot software.

Anybody got a wrench?  *headdesk*